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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Power of Encouragement

A lot of things roll around in my head about why I like being a stylist, dealing with clothing, shoes, accessories, etc. The idea of creating a 'look' and feel to an outfit from a creative view point, but the reality is I love to dress people to make them feel good. There is nothing like feeling good from the inside and letting that shine through to the outside. I find this also to be true when you communicate with someone through compliments, encouragement, and just general nice banter as those small exchanges may brighten their day as well as yours.

I have a lot of female friends that are so judgemental on their looks, they are always comparing themselves to my other friends who may be taller, thinner or perhaps dress a little more flamboyant or unique. It seems written in the sands of girl-dom that we all must put our selves down, all the time. You may not notice it, but when you do it all the time other people do notice when you consistently are negative all the time. It seems like it's uncontrollable word vomit that comes up without even noticing, almost like a nervous tick or prompted recorded message. My advice : STOP. You're NOT perfect, that person who you wish you were is NOT perfect, it's asinine to even think that any person who walks this earth is perfect. Am I sounding harsh, it is my point, living in la la pity party land won't do you a world of good. Stand up straight, shake it off and let's continue. *Wink*.
by bluntcard.com
Just a little humor :)

Why are you hating on yourself? Is it that you think your ass is too big? You think you are considered fat? You have small breasts? "Nothing ever fits me"? And so on and so on and so on. I'm not here to get all women's lib on you and tell you about women power and all that jazz, I'm simply saying that if you cave into to the voices in your head (hello? anyone in there...) or what people may have or had said to you about your appearance then they win. You are giving the power to someone or something else and in turn you are not enjoying life, you're not enjoying your beauty and you certainly will never try anything new with a crappy attitude. I'm not saying that you may have deep rooted issues and skeletons in your closet that can't be fixed with a snap of the fingers, but you need to start somewhere and self loathing is just not a fun way to live.

Celebrate something about yourself! Do you have fantastic skin and you don't need to wear makeup? Do you have long luscious eyelashes that other ladies would love to have? Are you an hourglass figure and can wear a killer corset with ease? THEN CELEBRATE IT! Don't hide in over size clothing=you will look even bigger. Don't hide your face with your hair=you are beautiful! Don't worry about your small breasts=you don't have to worry about being saggy and can wear cute summer dresses with ease. You aren't tall enough=there are so many cute platforms out in the world! My point is, there is a solution to your 'wardrobe woes' if you work at it. Knowing yourself on the inside really can impact your outward appearance and let your personality be expressed through your clothing. You may think "this is all such vanity", but in reality spending a little time on yourself and taking care of YOU will in fact impact others around you. Think about it, but don't obsess about it.

So start living for today, don't think, "I'm not going to buy myself anything new until I lose X-amount of weight" or "By this time next year I'm going to be size _____, before I get myself a make over". DO IT NOW. Living for the person and shape, size, etc. at this current moment is what you should do. Pamper and love yourself now, not the future you, not the past you, YOU NOW! If I had a dime for every time I heard "I will buy this when I'm thinner" or "I will try new things in the future", you are cheating your current self at really enjoying the present time. Be good to yourself, be good to others in need, and for the love of the Gods pass that encouragement onto others!

XOXO-Meagan Kyla


  1. Replies
    1. Hahahhaa! I thought it was appropriate and I always love some good humor. ;)

  2. Hear, Hear!!! We need to banish this low self-esteem stuff from our lives, forever! There's someone in my world who mentions EVERY DAY "how fat" she is. I think you are right - she doesn't even realize how frequently she is complaining about it. I feel sorry for her, not because of her weight but because of her negative attitude about herself. Next time it comes up, I'll see if I can't find an appropriate way to paraphrase your sentiments in response. Maybe it'll help to encourage her to focus on what she does like about herself and celebrate it!

    1. It does become a gray area, as you don't want to hurt the persons feelings, yet it becomes tedious to listen too. Good luck, she's lucky to have you as a friend and a positive person!

  3. Well said. I grew up with a mother that was constantly putting herself down about her looks. I vowed not to be that way towards myself and especially not to speak that way in front of my children. I'm not saying I walk around everyday with a smile on my face and a strut to my step but I do firmly believe that you reep what you sow. Negative words and thoughts brings negative energy into your life, and vise versa. I have a Wheel of Fortune tattooed on my arm, it can mean lots of different things but this point is what I take it to mean mostly. What is put out into the world comes back around to you. If you constantly put yourself down you will always be down.

    1. "What is put out into the world comes back around to you"-I whole heartedly agree with that mind set. I also had a mom who put herself down and I never realized that until you stated that fact about your mom, very interesting thing to ponder.

      I realized as I got older I became more self critical, but was happier with who I was on the inside. It's a strange trade-off, yet I am grateful that I am healthy, have a roof over my head and food on the table. Having that inner dialogue helps me to combat the negative thoughts. :)

  4. HELLZ YEAH! Someone very close to me *read: in my family* constantly says, "Oh I'll buy that when I'm finally thin." WHAT? Seriously? When I was at my heaviest I never, ever stopped buying clothes that made me look and feel great. I never stopped wearing make-up. I never thought I was anything less than awesome and never hid behind anything. I'm still the same person inside and outside ... and I knew that with a little work and determination I could get my Amazonian body back. :) Bat Fit/40x40 for me is fun and I love watching my body change. I love the smile that I get dancing around the house. I love the feeling of being alive and strong. I like seeing the athlete come out and it pushes me harder and further. My body is not the same as when I was in my 20s and I'm cool with that. I just want to be able to run up subway stairs without being winded. I want to climb trees again.

    I struggle with schedules and getting work done, but that doesn't mean I'm a jerk and worthless. It means I'm struggling, that's all. It's all about words and how we use them. Hick-ups, challenges, etc. aren't a bad thing. They teach us valuable lessons. Words are powerful. Words are magical.

    Certain people in my family can be extremely negative and often discouraging. One person likes to dwell on all the bad stuff that happens during the day, even in the news. I found myself completely shutting off yesterday on the phone because of this behavior. When she asked me what was wrong, I answered : I'm done with this conversation because I'm tired of the negativity. Things are awesome and life is good and I feel great. Period.

    Sure, I'm self-critical but usually when I'm stressed about deadlines or when I'm PMSing. My writing isn't good enough. I don't do enough. But then I step back and remind myself, "Professor, you thought it was good enough yesterday. Cut the crap out." ;) And well, words are strong and I cut the crap.

    I'm sorry this is all scattered. I'm in the middle of writing a grant and my brains feel like jello! smoooooooch.

    1. You have a brilliant view and are an inspiration! I completely agree with everything you said and knowing that you will never "be the same" shouldn't be something that is scary. Life is a journey and you can either run to the finish line or stop and enjoy the scenery along the way ;)

      PS-You look fab-u-lous and it's not just because you're losing weight, it's because you look like you are truly happy :)Go Professor! Go Professor!


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